Fate is a bitch, and I believe that if it could take on human form it would resemble my mother.
My intuition is a little rusty, and it shames me to say that I was shocked that Aunt Flow came to visit this week. Life, it seems, has a better sense of humor than I do.
I am empty.
That's a good thing. And I have yet to cease being amazed at the situations in which I find myself. I am without regret.
I know you hate your job. That is why they...the elusive and ever mysterious THEY, have to pay you to do it. I love you more when you are employed. I love you today in spite of your whining. Things will get better, I promise. Good things come to those who wait and if they don't...wait some more. There is nowhere to go but up once you have hit rock bottom. And baby, speaking from experience, you are a long way from rock bottom. Enjoy the time you have now, you...we are young and by default will get the short end of the stick. This horrible situation you find yourself in now may just be the catalyst you have been looking for. Life is what you make of it...so perhaps life isnt what you are dissatisfied with. Something to ponder.
To new friends, with old hearts...oh I am glad to have met you. I am feeling nostalgic and euphoric. I blame that on the drugs. Vicodin has spurred this momentary infatuation with sharing my feelings. Don't get use to it. I have a reputation to protect MANG, JU KNOW?
Ruth, you are great. I know you have heard that before, but still. You have inspired me. My muse..Ruth. Ah! It's a good feeling, to know that you have friends that share the same passions and convictions. You never bore me.
Corbin? I am really proud of you. Sometimes, when I feel like my plate might be a bit too full, I look at yours and feel like crap because I know I could easiy take on a second helping. Good for you. Hang in there. One day you're going to be a wealthy genius...don't forget the little people.
(literally)
And my ego deserves some kudos too. And here you honestly thought you had lost your sex appeal. Silly ego. Women don't lose their sex appeal. I didn't lose it. It's not like I woke up one day and said "Whoops! Where did my sex appeal go". I just don't use it like I use to. I have safely stored it away in a box under my bed. I'll take it out again someday when I feel the need to to. As o right now I just don't give a shit, and that is a very empowering feeling. I can feel vitality flowing through my veins. I have not changed, just my scenery. Everyone needs a change of scenery. I like what I see. It has all been laid out before me and the only thing I have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. That shouldn't be too hard, it's been a hell of a ride so far.
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2 comments:
Hey sweetie,
For seeing strength in what I see as my own 'percieved' weakness. For believing in me when I find it hard to believe in myself. For using my life, as it is, as a benchmark for what is possible, even when I'd beg you not to because of the struggle it causes... I thank you sincerely.
For that which is said or unsaid, for that which is felt or unfelt, and for all that has come to pass, and all that has not yet made itself known in this ping-pong game of life... You've always got a friend in me, even if you realize it. Hugs and luv.
thank you.
also thank you.
drug induced or otherwise, you are one seriously funny and clever gal, and I'm honored to be your friend.
even if you think your love life is a side show... I know better.
xxoo
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