“I had a little turtle, his name was Tiny Tim, I put him in the bath tub to see if he could swim. He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap….”
And then there is a pause. This could potentially be something very insulting to some people. Everyone has to watch what they say. Don’t preach about what you practice and keep your quirks behind closed doors because there is nothing in this country that couldn’t be considered taboo.
Smother me in chicken fat and fuck me like a stranger with a blind fold on. I wonder how many people would get turned on by that select phrase. Separate the words and you could have a wide variety of taboo phrases.
Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck me with a blindfold. Fuck chicken. Fuck chicken strangers. Fuck blindfolded chickens. Fuck fat blindfolded chicken. Smother chickens and fuck me.
But don’t get hard, don’t put your hands down your pants. Don’t have a wet dream or if you do, for god’s sake don’t tell anyone at school or at work. Your sexuality is something to be ashamed of. Sexual deviancy knows no boundaries.
I am a sexual deviant because I like to have sex with women. You are a sexual deviant because you like to be smothered in hot chicken fat a fucked like a stranger. That is not normal. You have thus become a deviant. You have deviated from social standards and made someone with a fucking PHD uncomfortable. How textbook of you.
“And then I cut his little head off and shoved it down his throat.”
But don’t forget to wear sunscreen and always brush your teeth. Give to the homeless and attend church every Sunday, or Saturday after 5PM….Wednesday for all those who need special attention and every other Thursday just to make sure that repentance can work around your schedule.
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3 comments:
"smother me in chicken fat and fuck me like a stranger with a blindfold on" Funniest thing I've read in ages.
stands and applauds.
Damn it all... I wanted to steal your undies. I'm bumming now.
LOL. You have no idea how hard I laughed when I read this, each time I read it. Brilliant, twisted, and out of control... I loved it.
*wink* So when are we going to the zoo for sno-cones and good company, hmmmm?
insult the living frell out of them, baby.
and do it in a way that makes it sting.
makes it hurt.
make them feel you not caring what they think or how they feel about their overly sensitive little feelings...
honest to God.
if there is a lesson you are teaching me, day by day and step by step, it is that to be a woman and to be sexy it is not necessary also to be always polite and politically correct.
I'm not only NOT a politician or interested in being one, I am also entirely unheard by politicians... so who gives a flying f%^k what I say? I'm not gonna offend YOU, that's for sure. Or anyone I love most dearly.
Offend them, my darling.
I'll be right there with you in the fray.
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