Please excuse me while I VOMIT on your face.

I want to start off this rant with the phrase; "Remember when things were simple?" But things were never really simple. Or perhaps I should say I'm too young to have any memories of simpler times. I am, afterall, a member of a generation that puts articles infront of their coffee orders. THE GRANDE NON-FAT, CINNAMON, CARAMEL MACCHIATO WITH A SWEET AND LOW PLEASE! Yeah, I'll have a fuckin cup of coffee...ummm hold the pretentious prick please? (Though, I do love my caramel.)
See, I was bored just now...incase you couldn't tell, and I was reading headlines on MSN.COM and one of them read; "What are you going to tell your children about Britney Spears' sister?"
Well, after a long pause, a smoke, a red bull and very careful thought, what came to my mind was; "Britney Spears has a sister?" And what I thought was fucking hilarious was the fact that the only reason this is a headline is b/c at the age of 16, she is doing drugs and dating a 19 year old boy. Ok, I want to ask someone this...what 16 year old girl isn't doing drugs and dating 19 year old boys???? The only reason that this is such a big "to do" in high society is the fact that Britney's mother had apparently "written" a book on how to raise children in showbusiness! This book has since then been pulled from publication. I can't see why. I mean, according to today's standards, it seems to me that she has done a bang up job! She and Martha Stewart should sit down and exchange tips on how to avoid the law all while making an oragnic, holiday designed duvet. COME THE FUCK ON!!! What are you going to tell your children about Britney's sister? I know, "Dear, if you become a drug addicted whore...you could make billions!" Nice. I have a message for the youth of america, Have a baby, shave your head, abuse massive amounts of pharmaceuticals, and make inetrnational headlines. .. but don't forget your latte.
I love it.
"It's fucking disgusting, the things we do for money!From the monotonous, mundane mutiny of the office world,To the seductive, sleazy, STD filled, nudey pin-up girl."Good afternoon! This is Jennifer. How may I help you?Our special today is whatever YOU think is nice!Fuck me up the ass with a chainsaw, TWICE.And while you're down there, Go ahead and lick my bloody CUNT!I'm sorry, was I too blunt?I shouldn't let my real feelings show, huh?That was extremely UNprofessional." Fuckers. Oh, uh, Don't forget to say the company name.'Cause we're NOT all the same.Ya gotta know how to play the game.Or you'll end up with all the blame for our corporate downfall."

Thank you Ecafais!

On a much lighter note? I just remembered something phenomenal. Peaches and Cream oatmeal. God was that good. Memories from my childhood often pertain to that oatmeal. I'm not sure why. Probably for the same reason that old spice and motor oil together bring a smile to my face b/c it reminds me of my father. Good times stored away in the dusty corners of my brain, brought to light again by something as simple as a scent. I am in the middle of a long process. I have a soft spot for cheesy sci-fi and I am attempting to turn my own version of cheesy sci-fi into a book. Maybe a comic, I haven't decided yet. At any rate, it's all about ALBINO Communist Aliens from Mars! I don;t know why I ahve decided that they should be Albino...or communist. It just... it just feels right. God, no one understands!!! Ha haha. Ok, I can't fake the tortured artist bit.
I know those of you who are reading this...if any, can't hear the music I am listening to, but this is a fantastic song by the Dresden Dolls. Thought you should be included in my euphoria.


Delilah
there’s no end to the love you can givewhen you change your point of view underfootvery good: you may be flat but you’re breathingthere’s no doubt he’s at home in his roomprobably watching porn of you from the fallit’s last call and you’re the last one leavingand you thought you could change the worldby opening your legsit isn’t very hardtry kicking them insteadand you thought you could change his mindby changing your perfurme to the kind his mother woreo god delilah why?i never met a more impossible girl....in this same bar where you slammed down your handand said “Amanda, i’m in love”no you’re notyou’re just a sucker for the ones who use youand it doesn’t matter what i say or dothe stupid bastard’s gonna have his way with you...you’re an unrescuable schizoor else you’re on the ragand if you take him backi’m gonna lose my nervei never met a more impossible girl....at four oclock he got off andyou called up i’m down at denny’s on route oneyou won’t guess what he’s doneis that a fact delililahlarry tap let you in through the backand use his calling card againfor a quick hand of ginyou are impossible, delilah: the princess of denialand after 7 years in advertising you are none the wiseryou’re an unrescuable schizoor else you’re on the ragand if you take him backi’m gonna lose my nervehe’s gonna beat you like a pillowyou schizos never learnand if you take him homeyou’ll get what you deservei never met a more impossible girlso don’t cry delilahyou’re still alive delilahyou need a ride delilah? let’s see how fast this thing can go.....